So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
