Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
