i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
