this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
