and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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