marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize