That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
