Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
