are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
