i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
