margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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