I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
