So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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