Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
