Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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