at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize