very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
