Please, let me fuck your mom
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have feelings that need drinking.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Randomize