dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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