Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
