I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I am available for nakedness
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
