You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
