You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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