i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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