Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
