D3 body, D1 cock
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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