I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
