I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
