Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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