my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
