I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
