We're facebook friends in real life
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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