how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize