no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
