The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
