If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize