nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize