Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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