did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize