is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
