Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
