No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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