weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
