i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
