what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize