awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
