Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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