I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
