So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
