u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
