Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
