everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
