Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize