The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize