So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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