Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize