are you so shy because you have an std?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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