My room smells like vodka and shame
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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