Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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