Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
