found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
