Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
