You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
