once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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