I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
