4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sry I called you an 8
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
