Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
