I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
