idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
