Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
