Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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